We girls, we reserve the right to change our mind – and then change them back. lol That is not what this post is about. This post is about changing my mind’s reality – redefining things that were defined for me before myself or my mother or my great-great-great grandmother existed.
Yep. It’s me, returning to a blogging past of FOOD. I mean, I had a whole blog based on what I would/would not, did/did not eat. Food. Food is a cultural, religious, emotional, life staple and, for me, it is my drug. I am a food addict. I am very careful about saying that. I want to speak life over myself, speak freedom, and love and light – so, I will say I am a food addict on the road of recovery. I flipped back and forth between not want to say that I was an addict, but in the end – this is the right choice for me. Using my God to deny this in the form of not claiming it did not help me stay sober, in fact it allowed me to pretend I was not in need of sobriety anymore. Twisted, I know, but I am an addict. We twist.
On and off as I have struggled to reach and maintain sobriety I have visited the idea of abstaining from food. I visit this idea and then declare that it is impossible, because it is. I then look for ways to get as close as possible. Shakes? Juices?
Perhaps, though, reaching sobriety will be a blend of redefining both sobriety and food. So, I am going to be going on an ALL Soylent diet for seven days. I ordered the Soylent powder 1.5 yesterday and I think that as soon as it comes I will mix it and start the next day. As a disclaimer I do have a race scheduled for the 30th and I will be getting a medium Green Tea Tango with strawberries afterwards.
The plan right now is evolving BUT instead of making a little notebook I am going to live it out right here and one YouTube. I will tweak and change and thing and move in a transparent way that will hopefully help me and anyone who logs onto the interweb some day looking for help in an impossible feeling situation.