the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

ARGH! BLARGH!!!

I just wrote a whole post about hand washing and virus bombs and life high on Tylenol Cold & Flu! I tried my best to stay focused and make sense of everything as I expressed my fear of infecting and reinfecting my entire family and my roller coaster ride of feeling better and then having the medication wear off an crashing. It was probably the best I could have come up with and then I pressed Publish and it disappeared forever into the lost world of interweb spaces. I am both too sick and too angry to care!

Just know, I am trying my best to not infect the world. I am washing my hands till they hurt and still I am freaked beyond that I am going to plant little germ bombs that will explode later after we are all happy and well again! :(

Current standings: Cold 3 of 4. Mavis, darling! seems to be the only one somehow not sick, though she is sleeping in late today and I hope it isn’t a sign that she is starting to feel sick!

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There goes the plan!

lol This year was the year that EVERYTHING was to change! We were ready, amped and on the way to starting our year AHEAD of the game! The girls and I had a plan. We had a schedule of classes and bunch of list to stay on track. We were going to hit the ground running, and then… Then my oldest had three doctor appointments during the first week, and then she got sick and had to go back the second week. Now, now I am sick and life is a detached, airy, strange movie playing in front of my eyes. My kids are old enough to compensate for my medicine head, but still we are not over reaching. The plan was to get ahead in the first months so that field trips and all that wouldn’t put us behind. Instead we are just keeping up!

While wading through the medicine cabinet that, let’s be honest, only gets straightened up once a year, I decided to go ahead and prep for cold season by straightening it out and tossing the old items. Finally, while it sucks to be sick I am blessed to have children who adore me and take such great care of me and the sweetest puppy in the world to snuggle and share my pillow as I lay ill.

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Ain’t that the truth!

photo(4)

This weekend was BUSY. You may recall that I posted a cleaning schedule not too far back. It is a good schedule because I am not married to it. I set that schedule fully knowing it would not get adhered to. It was just so that at any point I, no matter how crazy things got, I could check in and have a starting point. A place to pick back up. This theory was tested last week. With school starting and with doctors appointments the schedule did fall to the back of that which is important. By the time the weekend hit we were a day and a half behind studies (due to being out at the doctor’s office several times.) While we bring our work out and about with us it is hard to complete sometimes with the screaming babies, inquisitive children, chatty parents and the Disney movies played in the waiting area. My chores had all but stopped at home, I was focused on having enough dishes to cook and clothes for my wife to go to work in. The kids and I could live in PJs for all I cared. While I did manage to get to Zumba by Thursday evening I could feel the stress starting to turn into physical pain and as my oldest was checked out and found to be suffering a multi symptom virus (throat, fever, tummy, head, cough) on Friday I started to feel my throat scratch and my tummy hurt. Blah!

Saturday I had an event to go to and face paint as well as several errands to run. I set the Crock-Pot to cooking the game day chili and I went out into the world. By the time I got back I was exhausted and in pain. Sadly, and I do mean sadly, there are times when all I can do it take medication for it. Despite the fact that I strive to control my pain with exercise, warm rice bags and treated bathes there are times when a pill and sleep are the only thing that will work to being it back to a manageable level. I hit that wall on Saturday and I still had not vacuumed or mopped, my dishes were still a pile of EVERYTHING in my sink. Laundry had been hauled into the front room for sorting and then just abandoned. My house was a sad wreck and so was I. I took a fourth of a pill – I hate taking medications – and I went to sleep. When I woke up on Sunday I woke up stiff and sore and with my cold raging, but I woke up able to move. Because my wife was exhausted and my oldest was sick and had been drug around with me on Saturday I made the decision to keep everyone home from church and to just be in the house. I walked into my kitchen to brew some coffee and there it was, my schedule. My “I make no demands” schedule. My “you can just start here” schedule.

So I emptied the dishwasher, started laundry, loaded the dishwasher – all while the coffee peculated. I cooked everyone breakfast and I vacuumed and mopped. By the time I served lunch I was done with everything, but the rotating in and out of laundry and dishes… I was back on top, even though I felt like coughed up death. lol My little schedule had given my guidence and hope. It allowed my wife to relax on her one day off and the kids to rest. Even I didn’t feel like I was particularly overworked because I sat down a lot and worked in small bits. Light loads, easy on the hands, back and feet. Looks like this artist is getting better at the living, and while I thrive in an organized chaos I can not create in a DIRTY house (yes, it’s very different.) So I am actually more creative these days as well!

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:(

Another day another doctor visit for my poor Lou ♥.

Another day another doctor visit for my poor Lou ♥.

Coughing, fever, tummy ache, general yucky feeling and sore throat brought us in to see the doctor once again. It always sucks when your babies are sick, but the fact that this time it’s being called a virus which means nothing can be done – just sucks so bad. At least when she gets medications I feel like it may take a day or two, but she will get better. Having to ride it out seems endless. Thank God the fever is very responsive to OTC medications and when it is down she at least feels a twee better!

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DrawSomething

I know I have talked about how my wife and I play games on our phones. Here and there, tucked in the nooks and crannies of the day, are moments when life wouldn’t allow us to interact but because of smart phones we can play a board game like Scrabble or Pictionary. How awesome? Currently I am waiting for her to respond on a drawing – we have a 145 turn streak going! lol Here, without comment or labels to tell you whose are whose, are a few of our drawings!

Also, OMGosh! Do you guys remember those coin games where you drop in a coin or quarter and knock over more coins or quarters and prizes? They also have a ticket machine with this same set up at Chuck E. Cheese. My wife found an app for that called Coin Dozer and I LOVE IT! Like, love! Beyond! It was always my favorite thing at the fairs and festivals, and Chuck E. Cheese! lolphone games (1)

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Essential Oils

Lately I have been in line with God, I can’t explain it. I know that living in a place of constant praise and joyfulness has been my focus and that somewhere that went from a conscious effort to how things were. It’s NOT to say that I don’t go off the rails, it’s to say that off the rails is few and far between and it’s uncomfortable and it is quickly back on track!

As I move in this way, and live from this place I find more and more oddly placed, yet God created, little life flags. Like colored flags along a trail. I started my own business – Joyful Noise Praise Painting – and now I am following a path through essential oils. One that came to me in the spirit and with the spirit I was led to seek out remedies for several things. It turns out that the oils I honestly feel I was lead to work for all of the things I was looking to remedy and more.

I feel confident that this is something life changing and that the physical, spiritual and emotional health of my family is about to truly come into a wholeness that has been a long time coming. Today I made an order after much research and prayer. I am excited and will – of course – keep you all posted!

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MRI?

My oldest, Lou ♥, has been suffering from headaches her whole life. Honestly I never knew a child that would have headaches, but she did. She would complain that the sun hurt her eyes and her head felt funny. We finally had a big one that, as I said, caused us to go to the E.R. and then to testing and a neurologist!photo(4) Well, we finally got back the MRI results and with great relief I am happy to say that it was completely normal. So, complicated migraines it is. Thank God. I knew in my heart that she would be fine, but my human mind was starting to scratch around and worry.

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Crazy town.

Dude-ettes, have you chicas discovered the Timehop app? It has been absolutely blowing my mind lately. It’s an app the pulls photos and post and Facebook activity from all your on-line accounts and it sends you your activity one whatever day it is from years back. So, for instance, today it would send me all my on-line activity from August 18 – 2013, 2012, and on and on as far back as I have on-line activity. It’s been really cool and good for me for several reasons:

  1. It is INSANE how I constantly wind up doing the same thing again and again! lol Like the other day I made the decision to really clean up and rearrange the Tea Room and bam – a Timehop of me doing it a year ago to the day!
  2. I have lately been having a lot of trouble with motivation. I have gained a shameful amount of weight and I felt lost, however my Timehop has sent me little reminders that I once had this and I will have it again!
  3. My spiritual journey was anchored in a movement I felt for some time and I am reminded of it’s very start to blossom. That has been renewing my drive and desire to pursue all that God is pouring out, however scattered it may seem I know it is all a going to be brought together by God.
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Dear White America

Dear “white America”
you don’t know me.
While you see the color of my skin
 you have no idea where I have been.
You don’t know my native roots
or my heart,
so do not grab me.
Do not pull me into your collective.
15 years ago my colored hair –
 dark clothes -
had you all cowering as I walked by holding your children and
whispering words like Columbine.
As styles have changed and I am not SO out of bounds
you claim me again,
cracking racist jokes
as if we are friends.
But you are not funny
and I am not laughing.
I look into your face and I fill with dread.
Chances are after you rid the world of the “Black Man”
I’ll be the next you want dead.
Because while you like my complexion,
you don’t know who I am.
Even if I was the girl you imagine
I don’t want to be a part of your world.
See, something happened to my generation -
in my lifetime -
with the people my age.
We saw a world that could change.
A world where our culture is OUR culture,
we bring different things to the table.
But we sit together despite our “white America” labels.

 

Several nights ago a young man was shot and killed by a police officer. In the days afterwards the whole city where this happened was encapsulated in fear. Their right to protest was shut down by the local law enforcement and what was one human rights tragedy was followed by many, less severe – yet still appalling, more. I will not pretend that the fact that the young man was black and the officer was white doesn’t add fuel to the sensation of the story, but I will say that it is not the reason this story is sad, scary and ultimately news worthy. I believe that as you watch footage of the aftermath you will see that this section of local authority who is trusted to defend and uphold the law didn’t do it’s job. They went after the protesters regardless of the color of skin, age or any other distinguishing factors. There is a problem that we are facing in our nation. Our trusted men and women in uniform are proving to be less trustworthy that they need to be. This is probably not the newest of problems, but social media is shinning a light on it. Between the ages of 13-20 I was harassed by local authorities often. There was a knowledge that I must be unequivocally obedient, polite and hopeful that they were going to be fair. When I mentioned this to adults I was often told to dress differently because I was bringing it on myself or it was assumed I was doing something that made me deserve this.

I am afforded a certain luxury in my life now because on the surface I am an average white woman – I am the (slightly altered) picture of America. Though my style of dress and personal decision to color my hair alternative colors used to put me at odds with this it is now more mainstream and I no longer truly suffer any consequences. I say on the surface because I am of Native American descent, so while I am light skinned my blood line is multiracial. I am a femme lesbian, which means that generally speaking people have no idea I am a homosexual until they have gotten to know me and I have had reason to talk about my life. While this has afforded me the opportunity to change minds and gain ground it has also put me in many MANY uncomfortable situations where the fact that if this person knew that I was gay they would dislike me was clear. It is my opinion that I am me and not who I sleep with, I don’t feel like I need to introduce myself, “Hello, I am a lesbian.” I don’t feel that I am wrong in anyway, or that I am lying. I feel that to assume based on how I look is wrong.

I can’t tell you how many times racist jokes were made, hateful comments, homophobic statements – how many teenagers and adults have shrieked, “That’s so GAY!” I can’t count the amount of times I have been assumed to be just like “them” and included in conversations that are ugly and hurtful – and scary. Part of me wants to correct, the part of me who hopes that all people can learn and grow. Sadly, the part of me who KNOWS this is not the case stays quiet and gets away from the situation. It’s not conflicting opinions, I am fine with that. It’s ignorant hate that scares me. It scares me for my wife, who is butch and so more obviously gay. It scares me for my children, whom have yet to discover who they are. It scares me for myself. It scares me for the brown skinned youth. It scares me for humanity, because we are all suffering as long as any of us needs to be afraid.

 

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It is a beautiful life.

I am blessed to be a creative soul and I am blessed on an even deeper level by the fact that my children are creative. Art and music, color and sound – it makes this life so rich and full. I know that they are gifted, but still sometimes I am struck by there minds. The other day my Lou ♥ brought me a picture she had worked on with crayons. The color and richness is stunning!louart

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