the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

He, she and Marta.

on September 29, 2012

When I was young, very, I had an imaginary friend named RockingChair. I used to lay on the beige carpet in my family’s living room and use my toes to make the wood and wicker rocker rock, all the while talking to RockingChair. I don’t know the rules of RockingChair’s existence, I mean I have no idea if it was a girl or a boy and I have no real memory on whether or not RockingChair could leave the rocker. What I know is that that friend made me happy!

There was also an older man, a friend of my Grand Nolan (my mother’s father,) I believed was named Mr. Marvin and he would come to my Granny’s house and call me over to give me friends. He would take the lint out of his work shirt pocket, fuzzy and blue, and place it in my hand so gently. He named each lint friend Kermit (which I loved as I truly thought I would marry Kermit the frog.) I would take the days Kermit into the front room and set about talking and playing full intent on keeping Kermit forever. Only, I was a child and he was lint so eventually I would forget about him until I saw Mr. Marvin and the game would start anew. (I pains me as I write this, my Granny passed away in March of this year and it hurts to think she was probably the only other living person who remembers that.) Anyway, that lint made my happy!

I told you those stories so that maybe we could both understand where my habit of personifying inanimate objects is so deep rooted. Everything, and I mean everything, is a he or a she. I refer to cars and clothing as either depending on how much I like it and the style of said item. My friend Missy used to be driven mad by this, and then one night in the great Wall-of-mart we were walk down an isle and she said, “Oh, he is cute! Right?” pointing to a small end table. I raised and eyebrow and gave her the you-know-what-you-just-did look. “You broke me, you did this.” she grumbled and stalked off. From there on she did that more often then not, she still does. Once it bites you…

So my wife, who is beyond amazing, works long hours and leaves me a virtually single parent. (Actually, I have been a single parent and this is nothing like that. I am supported and blessed to have a wonderful partner and the opportunity to teach my children around my kitchen table!) Still, my workouts have taken a hit with my wife not being available for me to leave the children home in the afternoon. As we looked at this and realized that it was a longer term problem she solved it by taking action on and finding me an A-mazing elliptical trainer for a mere on hundred dollars.

Marta, my elliptical, was actually being sold for $150, but you could tell by the poster’s ad that they really wanted Marta out of the house. On top of that Marta was one wheel shy of an elliptical if you get my drift. The ad was 13 days old and I sent a text with and offer. Next day, Marta was a part of the family. She has a broken wheel-y thing, but we have already ordered a replacement for her. I am so stoked it is BEYOND. I have decided to make a few changed come October and one is going to be to hop on Marta and ride her for fifteen minutes every morning, half an hour three times a week and to run twice a week. I just can’t wait. I currently pay $54 a month for the gym. Marta, with her new wheel and all, cost $175 – she is a $1000 dollar machine and in less than four months she will be paid by the money saved due to the gym not being needed. I hate to leave my gym. I am always so proud to go, to be one of those people who goes and does the damn thing. Recently, though, they did some renovations. They merged with another gym to cover the cost and sold half of the space, so now we have double the people in less space. All of that I could have forgiven, but the also did away with the kid room so I can’t bring the kids with me. That made it near impossible to get there.

It’s okay, now I am a girl who runs. I am that girl I used to drive pass and think, “I could never do that.” I am going to be that girl who owns a machine and actually climbs on her! It’s changing but it’s still pretty awesome!


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