Celeb gossip., Much ado about nothing., Trrrr-ash!

What about the Twihards?

There are relationships that are doomed. They are irretrievably broken, if you stay together you fight so much your cats are scared, shaking, simple creatures that will not leave the closet. You look at your situation and you think, “It will be hard, but I must do this. For myself, for the children, for the closeted cats.” You pack and you leave never to return.

Then there are the relationships that are good, but you have to work on them. Sure you could leave, but you could stay and still have a great life. Maybe you have to forgive more or demand less, maybe they do. Whatever the problem you can work it out. If you are single you walk away, because you are single and life is easy that way. If you are a mother you think, “What about the children?” You put a little elbow grease in, you bite the bullet and take a few extra for the team. In the end you have a stronger relationship and the kids have two loving parents under the same roof. They have an example of hard work and loyalty that works and pays off.

Forgive me, but I am about to take some liberties and talk sh*t about something I know nothing about. Let’s go.

Dear Isabella Swan Kristen Stewart,

I get that that Rudolf guy seemed like big cheese (really, he quite actually looks like a huge cheese ball) and that being young and, arguably, dumb you fell for him “momentarily.” I get that you don’t have the best taste in dudes, my gosh the love of your life eats people for cripes sake. Seriously, though, to get oral in a Mini Cooper? You just have to watch the flip out, you are famous and that was just too obvious. Personally I think that you are a good little actress, but that Twilight isn’t really “heavy hitting” material to work with. I am looking forward to your Snow White movie when it gets over to Netflix. Sorry, that’s the kind of fan I am, but at least I am a fan! Anyway, keep on keeping on and whatever you do sink your claws into Edward while you have the chance. Make your promos count, look good, flirt and stay focused because at the end of the day that sexy vampire makes you more likable and he is the best thing about you!

Dear Rob Patterson,

Do you mind if I call you Edward? I feel like we know each other on that level. I want to say that you are a really great guy. Your interviews come of humble, gracious, funny and real. In fact as much as I love you in the Tweenlight movies I only started to adore you after we really got to know each other during the press tours and when you watered the elephants… All that is great but I am here to talk about the problems with Bella. Look, girl has daddy issues in case you couldn’t tell. Daddy issues are what make us girls pick the wrong guys and lets face it shes been going back in forth between a vampire and a wolf… She’s young, dumb and made a bad decision. I think we can recover from this. Girl needs a chance to do things right. If I’m honest with you I have to say I haven’t been so attached to a celeb couple since Jen & Brad and they let the devil get between them. Please don’t do the same! All of that to say this, I think you are in one of those this-sucks-right-now-but-can-be-great-again, what-about-the-children relationships. I this case there are MILLIONS of us “children” and we need you to take one for the team.


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