the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

Talk the answer, not the problem.

on December 4, 2012

I need this. I need it to be my focus and my mission. I get swept up in the problem, turning it over in my mind and looking at every possible angle, every possible issue. All I can see is a wall. I start to have a tightness in my chest and a shake in my hand. My mind shorts out and I cry – a lot. From the start each and every little life issue can cause damage to me, so if it’s a big one like money… Well, you can imagine.

I also struggle a lot with my spiritual health, with trust and faith. I mean, I think faith I have, I know I do. Trust, I am not good at that. It goes back to the fear I just spoke of, to the paralyzing fear. I am learning to trust. My wife is an amazing, she has become my rock and I find that if I let her in, just trust enough to open the door to her, she can change my outlook.

I am working on small things, like one foot in front of the other. Pay the bills I can, clean the room I can, workout when I can – and the real challenge is NOT FOCUSING ON THE REST. We will be fine, one way or another and I need to love every moment. So many amazing things happen in my life on the daily that I miss a world of good when I am locked in my fear – I am trying to change that.

Along with walking in trust I am also trying to better myself by removing myself from relationships that draw out the negative, while some of these are relationships I can simply walk away from others are not and in those I choose to simple NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD. I am also, gosh I’m working on a lot right now, going to stop cursing. SO hopefully f-bombs are a thing of the past and I will be coining many new alternatives! Yay.

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