the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

Goodbye, Santa.

on November 27, 2013

Last night Lou ♥, my oldest daughter, came and sat next to me. She was in deep thought. She stared at the ground ahead of her and spoke lightly, “I know I brought this up a few days ago and the topic got changed, but what is your opinion on Santa Claus?”

She had brought this up, and the topic had been changed – by me. I stayed as calm as I could and checked her facial expression with a quick side-eye. BUSTED! She was sizing me up with her own smooth side-eye! Once our side-eyes met a small smile spread across her face and I was done. “What do you think?”

“I think,” she started cautiously, as if she knew that this might break my heart, “that it’s a little, um, silly. I am still going to pretend, you know, for Mavis, darling!”

“Thank you.” We sat together, feeling the change and adjusting. Then I looked at her and smiled.

“Wait, so that time…” She began a series of questions and I began a series of explanations. The hows and whys and whens and wheres of being a secret Santa, the stress and the happy endings. We went through the years that she remembered and her smile grew as she realized that all those magic moments were mom! It was neat. I would never had brought them up, scared I would ruin her memories. However, the way that it happened was gentle and fun and a bonding moment. After, I asked her if she felt like, you know, lied to. I asked if she would have rather us have raised her with the truth. (I have a friend who chose to go that way, and while I was like all against it when my own daughter was little as she got older and the thought of disappointing her became real I started to see their point.) Lou ♥ thought about this and I mean seriously gave it thought. In the end the verdict was this: “No, I am glad I grew up with Santa. It was nice and I think kids should have that for a while.” Yay!

She seemed fine, which I guess I should take as a compliment. We have raised a well adjusted young lady who can roll with the punches, even if the punches kill off Santa. I, on the other hand, was still a little raw this morning. My oldest child officially no longer believes in Santa Claus to the point that we have discussed it.

Today on the way to donate some items to Goodwill (I am still so happy we have a local Goodwill) the subject of the girl’s Christmas lists came up and I said, “You better get that done, Santa needs time to get it all together.” Mavis, darling! nodded in agreement, but Lou ♥ shot me this sneaky, little we-have-an-inside-secret look. My heart, who was aching the loss of my baby’s childhood, suddenly exploded with the excitement of this new phase. We can relate, and talk, and laugh together in new ways. She is growing up, and while that means things change, it also means they can evolve into something beautiful and altogether fun!

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