the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

When God answers.

on September 9, 2014

P.S. You will see this again in a post about painting tomorrow! 🙂

I have been dealing with paralyzing fear lately. I don’t want to go to sleep, I don’t want my wife to go to work, I don’t want to leave my house… Anxiety is at a crazy level. Rationally I KNOW I’m being irrational, but I can’t help it. I am not taking anything, I home school and have to be aware. I get up early to cook breakfast, I can’t sleep in just because I’m on meds. and they make me loopy. Also, I have been there. They treat the anxiety with one medication that requires half a dozen to treat it’s side effects. I’ve been praying and praying and finally I have been NEEDING to paint and so I started with what I wanted to paint. The canvas went from a doodle, a woman and then to entirely black as God took over. Slowly I started to see His answer, “Did I not create the universe?”
So, I am working on putting down my human affliction – to worry, to want to control, to oversee. I am accepting the love and protection of The Great Overseer and I am going to breathe in faith and breathe out fear. Anxiety is a debilitating illness, one I have fought my entire life. If you pray, please pray for me.


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