the Trigger-happy housewife

Bringing the constantly fantastic and painfully insane together daily!

A garden full of snakes.

We took the kids to a science/rock show in Baton Rouge a few weeks ago. It was a well planned weekend that fell apart when we got stuck in traffic on the New Orleans high rise for HOURS – HOURS people!!!

Anyway, we hit that show with a hard plan to make sure that we got all things taken care of so that we didn’t miss a thing. I was desperate to do the craft – not knowing what it was – but that was the last thing planned because we prioritized the kids. Then we found out that it was painting a rock and, unhappy with drying times and the available mediums, we decided just to take our rocks and paint them later.

Later was postponed and postponed until the perfect opportunity set itself in front of us. Happily, that was Easter Sunday. We sat together that evening and painted our little rocks. We loved it. We will be doing more, clear coating them, and setting them in our next garden when God moves us where He will.

In case you wanted more, here is the small video I made about the trip:

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Day of “do nothing.”

My birthday Sunday was a great and lovely day. One with lots of beautiful moments surrounded by my church and family. I was, however, craving a day of nothing! Monday was that day. I told the kids that I would be doing nothing but hanging out on the couch and only cooking when I was feeding me. If they wanted food they had to want it when I was in the kitchen because I wasn’t running myself ragged. (They made PB&J once and then decided to make sure they were on my schedule. lol)

Then, after my beautiful wife came home we decided to get the S’mores going! Delish!

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Confession of a home schooling mother:

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This is what my kitchen looks like right now.

(Warning: confessions seem to be a normal-ish occurrence around these parts. In the past I have given them a bunch of different names, but here and now I am declaring that we will have a reoccurring article from time to time in which I let it all hang out!)

I live an honest and authentic life, a clear (yet often dirty) window into the life of a happily married, home schooling femme lesbian who is walking her best Jesus path and battling chronic pain daily. Through my blogging I have taken many journeys – fantasy, young love, poetry, weight loss… When I came here I just wanted to put it all out there real and raw – I believe that living openly helps all people. Being a Christian who preaches vs. being a Christian whose life speaks for itself…

Wasn’t long until I realized that living and authentic life meant airing a lot of ugly, less than flattering, Oh My Gosh moments out in the “public” of the Internet. Here it is again, a day where I look around and think, “How? How did I get to this point?!” lol

There it is, and at one point in my life I would let it get me angry at myself, disappointed and feeling guilty that I am behind. These days, however, I choose to focus on what I have gotten done! In addition to teaching all day:

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Painting all day…

When hurricane Katrina hit she took everything, everything. At first the big things left me reeling – jobless for the first time since I was 13 and having lost not only my childhood home but the home I had just bought. I looked at my daughter and was at a total loss. Slowly as life took shape again I started to feel a deeper, almost more grave loss. All of my photos, of my art, all of my poetry, all of my journals. I went into a shock like state of just pushing forward. It took years for me to really start writing and even longer to do any real art. This year has been a huge year for my art to actually emerge, thanks to God and my wife.

This coming month I will be working with my sister on getting my paintings photographed so I can have prints available. I am actively working as a face painter and exploring a new art interest/opportunity! Monday I was all set to sew up the kids costumes and then BANG – painting happened. lol Truly as life is swirling around up and as scary as it is right now, I am sooo blessed I can’t express it.

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Tongues

The painting that I posted on Friday is a painting of what I see/experience when I am in prayer and the Holy Spirit is with me, physically present. When I hear people speak in tongues (NOT all the time, in fact not often) and feel the tongues myself this is what I witness. It is a pillar of colored light – light that has such a presence that it cast a shadow – there are thousands and thousands of colored lights streaming and moving and with them are thousands and thousands of voices in every language. Clear and distinct. Sometimes I hear what is being prayed, sometimes I hear English, usually I only hear the amazing chorus of language and light – but even if I don’t know the words I understand what is being. That may not make much sense. To be honest it doesn’t always make sense to me, but still it is.

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What do you think?

I am posting this painting with comment, without explanation and in hopes to get feedback. Not on skill (which is fine if you want to comment on) but on what you see/think/believe this is… I will explain the painting on Monday! Have a great weekend!!! photo 5If you want to see the explanation it can be found on this post!

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Internet down!

Fancy new Internet service installed on Tuesday, no service on Thursday! Wha wha wah… So of course the day turned into a get what we can done without the computer done and then… ART!!! Gosh I can’t express the ways in which I love that we homeschool. Shall we start with pajama days and end with ART ALL DAY! To blessed to ever express what it is to live this life!

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DIY with my Gipper!

Sometimes when the people in my life – I lie – EVERY TIME a person in my life asks me for crafty help I freeze. I love art, I pick up most things, I can do a project pretty simply – I freeze. I am always scared that they will be disappointed. Recently my Gipper asked me to help with a crafty conversion of terracotta pot to bee hive. Okay, no problem. They she said, “We can do it here or at your place!” Um, as in she would witness the catastrophe of creation. See, between the finished product (whatever that  may be) there is this stage off – what’s the word? Ugly! lol

So when I sat down with my Gipper and we started I panicked, I wont lie. There was a stage of UGLY and then as we talked and laughed all the sudden the paint started to move and we had a set of bee hives!

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When God answers.

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P.S. You will see this again in a post about painting tomorrow! 🙂

I have been dealing with paralyzing fear lately. I don’t want to go to sleep, I don’t want my wife to go to work, I don’t want to leave my house… Anxiety is at a crazy level. Rationally I KNOW I’m being irrational, but I can’t help it. I am not taking anything, I home school and have to be aware. I get up early to cook breakfast, I can’t sleep in just because I’m on meds. and they make me loopy. Also, I have been there. They treat the anxiety with one medication that requires half a dozen to treat it’s side effects. I’ve been praying and praying and finally I have been NEEDING to paint and so I started with what I wanted to paint. The canvas went from a doodle, a woman and then to entirely black as God took over. Slowly I started to see His answer, “Did I not create the universe?”
So, I am working on putting down my human affliction – to worry, to want to control, to oversee. I am accepting the love and protection of The Great Overseer and I am going to breathe in faith and breathe out fear. Anxiety is a debilitating illness, one I have fought my entire life. If you pray, please pray for me.

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The Spirit is flowing!

There is so much going on in my heart and head and soul right now! Finishing old paintings, starting new ones. Hanging them up! God is so good!

 

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